anonymous secrets

Friendships.

Upon my first year at the high school, I would have considered myself to have eight people I could call my “close friends”. I can say that only two of those people remain with that title. 
Now, I’m entering my second semester of college. What happened to all these friendships? 

We first met on the first day of ninth grade gym, and I sat next to her because I didn’t have any other friends and because she was Asian. We had known of each other and heard the other’s name but never acknowledged each other. I even remember we had a conversation about this. We were both lazy bums and “ran” together during fitness days along with another friend. I would always save her butt every time she was going out with a guy — every single time. I even remember she came over my house for Chinese New Year and met my cousins and family and everything. To this day, my cousins still remember her, even if it is only for her name. I suppose we started drifting in junior year, just because I wouldn’t see her as often. She was in my lunch senior year, but that didn’t make a difference since she never came to school. The days she did come to school, however, her dad would go out of his way to drive me home afterschool.
Now, we always talk about getting together and hanging, but it never works out for some reason. 

I can’t really remember how we met, but she claims that it was as we were both helping a friend when she was sick or something. But we were close, like really close. In ninth grade, we hung out every single Friday, and never got sick of each other. Every guy had liked her, and I was always jealous of her for that. She was so freaking pretty. And outgoing/friendly. I was also jealous of her relationship with my long time crush, though he is currently my boyfriend (lol). We had remained close throughout high school and seriously had … so many great times. We always had gym and orchestra together. I always had a good time with her :). We would talk about nothing and everything, from school and boys to college and the future. Senior year, things had changed as she started hanging out with some other people. People who were bad influences. She never changed or acted differently in front of me, but I knew she was growing closer to them and away from me. I think I was simply too boring for her. We never hung out anymore, cause you were busy getting high with your friends. 
Now, we text each other occasionally but not about anything important or meaningful. We don’t even mention that we should hang out or anything. It’s kind of disappointing. I even found out some things that would have hurt me so much if I knew it at the time; because of those things, I don’t even know if you were completely honest with me as my friend anyway. 

We had been close ever since seventh grade. People would always lump us together because it was always the three of us. They would invite all three if they wanted to invite one, because of convenience purposes. You were always really smart and helped me in math, science and everything. We always had that KPOP bond, where we were obsessed with korean groups; now that the phenomenon has died down, so has our friendship. We drifted drastically during senior year, as you found another two to complete that trio. You always hang out with them, the Koreans. They’re probably more fun to be around and everything, so you just kinda abandoned us.
Now, we don’t really talk .. ever. We try to hang out but .. those Koreans always get in the way lool. Or there’s some other excuse somewhere. I’m pretty sure we only hang out just to preserve our friendship since we were previously so close before… but other than that, no real intention.  

We had always known each other since we were family friends, so I guess I could say I knew her through chinese school and dance. I never really got close to her until sophomore or junior year of high school. We didn’t go to the same school, so we didn’t really talk much. We would always have so much fun hanging out with our other family friends, no awkwardness or anything. We loved having sleepovers, staying up to talk about everything and nothing. We got really close senior year; we talked every single day about one thing — boys. I would tell her about my crush and all that drama and she would tell me about hers. It was great, having someone I could talk to about this stuff. She was the only one I really opened up to about it since she didn’t personally know the person/people I was talk about. Everything was all good and dandy until after prom I suppose. She started having some thing with another family friend during the summer, and that’s when she started to change. She would only talk to him and hang out with him, not even bothering with me or anyone else. She didn’t even tell me about this; I only knew when people started talking and when it was more obvious. But really, it was pretty disappointing when she used to tell me everything about boys, and now she didn’t tell me when she had a boyfriend. We became more distant over the summer and then we started college where the really changes happened. 
Now, we only see each other at family friend parties and we don’t even have anything to talk about. Our lifestyles are so different that I can’t relate to hers and she can’t to mine. Her whole situation has .. disturbed the whole family friend circle and has made it .. so awkward.

The first time I had any interaction with this girl was during ninth grade when we played a duet together. We weren’t really friends, but for some reason we were playing it together lool. We definitely got really close during high school. We had classes together and .. always hung around each other. She kind of stuck to me as a friend that she could rely on and trust. Every Wednesday during senior year, we would chill afterschool because I could drive. We did everything together … we got ready for prom together at my house! I helped you through all your boy troubles and you helped me through mine. I took care of you so much when you got hurt, and you took care of me too. I bought you Dunkin’ Donuts that one time you were really depressed and was so worried about you. I guess we drifted over the summer when we didn’t hang out as much. But I was so .. thankful I suppose, that we still talked a lot when we got to college! Mainly because you’re in the same building as my boyfriend lolol. But still .. it was nice still having friends/a connection to EB. I even helped you through your boy problems through the first month or so of college. You let me and my boyfriend sleep in your dorm one night too!
Now I can only wonder what I would do or how you would react if I visited Rutgers overnight again. You made a lot of other friends at college and don’t even talk to me or my boyfriend anymore, even though my boyfriend is one floor below you in the same building. 

Two of these dying friendships made me resentful. Of course I would love to be close with all these people again, but only two really made me miss them and make me want to text them. The other people have either changed, or we just haven’t been close for quite a while. 
I have less than a week. I’m going to try to change and try to save at least one of these friendships.